Our First Footy Game

I have never seen an Aussie rules football game and I know many of you haven't either so, here are my impressions of the experience.
For twenty bucks all four of us got an education this afternoon.
The Frankston Dolphins were playing a home game against the Sandringham Zebras. Rob chivied us out the door a full half hour before the game was due to start because he was worried about getting seats.
The first thing we saw inside the entrance gate was a woman selling raffle tickets for a wheelbarrow of beer. Yes, you read that right: a wheelbarrow full of beer.
I passed on the $3 record (what they call a playbill or list of players) and bought raffle tickets instead.
We needn't have worried about the seating. There is none. Everyone leans against the fence or hovers in the stands which are not dissimilar to choir risers but more spaced out.
We found an open area in the fence opposite the scoreboard and waited for the action to start.
The first thing I noticed were the police officers in the middle of the field. Hunh?

That didn't bode well.

The horn sounded and fit looking men started running out into the field. The first group was dressed in neon yellow uniforms, quickly followed by another group in neon orange. They ran around a bit, stretching as they went, looking all serious and competitive. We couldn't figure out who was on which team and there didn't seem to be enough players on the field. Then the real players came out in shorter shorts and tighter, sleeveless tops.

Now this is more like it.

The game started with one of the neon guys bouncing what looked like a rugby ball but bounced like a basketball in the middle of the pitch and two guys jumping to get it first. You would not believe the air time these guys get. And the monster thighs and calves they have?! Not that I was looking or anything.

Play involved a lot of throwing, running, catching and more ball bouncing but I was too busy trying to figure out what the neon guys were doing to watch much of the play. From what I could gather, the neon yellow guys dash around calling players on and off the field. The neon orange guys appear to be referees. I think. 

We were standing right in front of an area called the interchange (I asked the fellow standing next to me and he looked like he knew what he was talking about - he has wearing a team jersey and everything) which every player and neon guy have to run through if they want to go on or off the field. 

We were also right next to the Sandringham players box which held all the players not playing, 4 coaches, 3 water girls, several medics and a few physios. There were two yoga mats laid out on the edge of the field and every few minutes, a player would dash up and flop himself face down on the mat. Two physios would each straddle a leg, hike his shorts up as far as they would go (and they're already pretty short, let me tell you) and give him a vigorous thigh massage. I was tempted to get a picture but it made me feel kind of dirty watching it, so, sorry, you'll have to use your imagination.

Anyhoo...

During the breaks in play, the fans are allowed to go out onto the pitch and mingle with the teams. This is Rob dispensing his advice to the Zebras:

"Keep your stick on the ice, boys"

Enough about the players. Let me get to the most entertaining part about the game - the fans.

There was a fellow standing behind us that was obviously a Zebra fan (pronounced Zeb-ra, not Zee-bra) and he was surrounded by Dolphins fans. It was a home game, after all. Dude behind us (let's call him Bogan for lack of a better word. Well, that is the best word, really) yelled at the players all the time. 

All. The. Time.

Behind Bogan was another guy with a coronet, and beside him was a guy with a large, resonant drum. The drum player was actually quite talented. The coronet player? Not so much. Bogan yelled, drummer drummed and the horn player tootled in opposition for the entire game - 4 half hour long periods.

Bogan's wife would get in on the yelling action every once in a while, sometimes to cheer on the Zebras but more often than not to chastise her husband. 

Let's just say Sophie learned how to use expletives as nouns, adverbs, adjectives and verbs today. Sentence structure is an important part of Grade 6 English, isn't it? 

I am sold. If this is what you get at small, local games, I cannot wait to see a big match at the MCG.

Side note - I think the Zebras won. Not sure though. We left quickly as the "conversations" were becoming heated and the aforementioned police were closing in fast.